Their Greatest Enemy
by Miss Ami-chan
Summary: The senshi fight their greatest enemy yet, Deeque with her powers of dubbing!
1. Prologue

The alarm clock went off. Under normal circumstances a person might have snaked out a hand and turned it off, or shot out of bed and started getting ready for the day. Instead, the clock's owner murmured a little in her sleep, and rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head and upsetting the perch of the small black cat who had been sleeping on her back. The cat rolled off the bed and onto the floor, grateful for her feline balance as she landed on her feet, but then she was jolted so much by a simple phrase spoken from downstairs that she banged her head on the bed frame anyway.

"Serena! Serena!" A voice called, as it's owner climbed the stairs towards the sleeping girl and concussed cat in the pink bedroom, "Get out of bed! You'll be late..."

"Nnnnn..." was the only recognizable response from the mound that was still buried in the sheets, blankets and comfortable warmth above where the cat was regaining her senses.

The black cat contemplated curling up again. Perhaps she was just concussed or not awake enough. It sounded like Ikuko's voice, but the words were definitely wrong. Maybe if she slept and woke up again everything would be back to normal and she could get a good attack on Usagi and wake her up the way things normally happened. She jumped back up onto the bed and was about to settle back down in the warm nook that Usagi often made above her buttocks when she curled up that way, when the door burst open.

"Please, dear! Get _out _of bed!"

The blonde head disappeared further beneath the convers, and the cat, Luna, jumped out of the way as the covers were ripped from the bed by the blue-haired woman.

"Momma!" the girl complained, curling up tighter trying to retain her warmth. She still wasn't awake. Her voice sounded thick and the response was instinctive.

"Don't give me that, Serena! You should know the routine by now! You have school!"

The blonde's eyes blinked open. She couldn't have been more awake if she'd acquired a caffeine IV, "Serena?" she inquired, "Who's that?"

The blue haired woman looked at her with puzzled expression, "Why you are dear..." she gave a nervous laugh, "What's the matter? Did something fall on your head while you were asleep?" Tinny music could be heard from downstairs and the blue-haired woman turned away distracted, "Sammy! You'd better not be playing video games. You have school too!" she turned back to the bed, "There are pancakes downstairs, now hurry up!" she disappeared out of the door again, yelling down the stairs as she went about video games and homework and getting out of the door pronto.

The blonde turned to the small black feline who was jumping back up on to the bed again, "Don't look at me, Usagi-chan," Luna answered, "I'm just as confused as you are."


	2. Part 1

The run to school was too hectic for Usagi to pay much attention to her surroundings. She was too focused on getting to school on time and not colliding with anyone on the way as she pelted down streets, across roads and around corners. It didn't register to her how early she had actually left that morning as she was so confused by the going's on her house that she'd just left without eating, figuring that she was dreaming and would wake up on the way.

She was relieved when she saw the familiar site of the red-headed girl bouncing towards her as she ran through the school gates, that she stopped and waved. Then was jolted out of her skin again as she realized that it wasn't her family playing some kind of weird game with her unless they'd gotten Naru in on it as well.

"Hey, Serena! You actually made it slightly early. What's going on?"

Usagi couldn't help looking as though someone had hit her in the face with a board, "Eh, Naru-chan? What's going on with you? What happened to your voice? What did you just call me?"

"What do you mean 'what happened to your voice'?" the red-head demanded, reaching a hand forward as though she was trying to take the blonde's temperature, "and what's this 'Ay, Nah-roo-chan?' my name's Molly...you're such a meatball head," she shook her head, "If this is a joke. I want no part of it."

Usagi stared at her in disbelief.

"Anyway, I've got to go, if I'm late to meet Melvin he'll spazz. See-ya for lunch?" she waved, not waiting for an answer as she sped off across the school's front court yard. Usagi watched her dumbfounded. _Melvin? Molly?? _She followed the red-head with her eyes as the other girl ran under the sign that marked the entrance to the main school and then she read CROSSROADS JUNIOR HIGH. She sighed and ran a hand over her face, willing that she would wake up again and be in her own bed with her own mother yelling at Shingo and her father, Kenji. _Did I somehow get up in the wrong universe this morning? _

She looked around for someone else familiar to see what was going on. She realized now that she had plenty of time before her first class of the day. Finally she caught sight of a familiar blue haired girl sitting under a tree at the edge of the school's front grounds. The blue haired girl was staring at her mini computer. She smiled and ran over, and then hesitated afraid to be greeted as Serena again. The other girl was listening to something else though, not what was going on around her.

"Ne, Ami-chan!" she called, biting the bullet.

There was a long pause before the other girl looked up, and Usagi found herself more and more nervous, had the other girl not heard her? Was she expecting to be called something else the way Naru was insisting her name was Molly? As the other girl finally turned Usagi screwed her eyes shut for a moment and clenched her fists. _Please recognize me. Please don't call me Serena. I'll give anything. I'll do homework for a month without complaining! _

"Ah! Usagi-chan!" the blue haired girl said, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were talking to me at first; everyone's been calling me Amy all morning," she frowned for a moment glancing back at the small computer screen that was sitting on her knees.

"You too, huh?" Usagi said, sitting down next to Ami.

"What Usagi-chan? People have been calling you Amy also?"

"No, I...never mind."

"Can we focus?" the fire senshi's voice came from Ami's computer screen, "I'd be grateful if you could come up with a reason for the fact that we're suddenly the Cherry Hill Temple and why Grandpa's been insisting that Yuuichiro is Chad all morning."

"Chad?" Usagi asked, pulling a face, "That's almost as bad as Momma calling me Serena."

"Serena?" Rei laughed, "Well, as far as I can tell I'm still Rei, that's why I was so confused."

"Whatever it is that's going on it seems, so far, that we senshi are unaffected," Ami remarked, making some notes on to a separate document on her computer screen.

"I better go though," Rei said, as there was a crashing sound somewhere behind her and she cringed, "I at least don't have school today but dear "Chad" seems to be a lot more clumsy than Yuuichiro ever was," the screen that she had been in blipped off and the start of a "Ja ne!" was heard just before she disappeared.

Ami relayed to Usagi that Rei had suggested they all meet at the temple after school if things didn't come to a head first, "I'm not sure what's going on," she explained, "All our mail this morning was addressed to Dr. Anders, and Umino-kun insisted that his name was Melvin."

"Naru-chan told me she was Molly," Usagi explained, "and mentioned needing to meet Melvin."

Ami nodded, making mental and physical note by typing this information onto her computer, "As I said, whatever this is it appears we're not affected. I'm not sure if we've been pulled into an alternate dimension or the Tokyo...or however far afield has somehow been brainwashed. It's best we're on our guard and contact Mako-chan and Minako-chan as soon as we can."

Usagi nodded, "You've got a deal."

* * *

"Excellent work!" the figure was hidden in shadows but even without being able to see his expression it was clear that these developments were filling him with great happiness, "I'm sure our great Master will be pleased!" he went on.

"Thank you," the young woman bowed, and smoothed out the folds in her long gray skirt as she straightened back up. A moment later she smoothed her hair making sure that there were no kinks in the flat around where it was wrapped up into a bun.

"I am pleased with your work so far, Deeque," he went on.

She looked up at him with a picture perfect smile, the kind that dentist's and photographer's lust after, "Thank you, sir. I will endeavor to continue to do my best."

"Very good. We look forward to you converting the senshi to our point of view. Now, carry on."


	3. Part 2

The pony-tailed girl was more than a little frustrated. She'd been trying to keep things quiet but this was just too much, "For the last time—my name is Mako! Ma-Ko!" she shouted, "and I don't have time to give you a cooking lesson. I have to meet someone at the Hikawa Shrine!" She looked around for a clock figuring that she was probably already very late, and the others had told her to be on time. They were always jokingly and sometimes not chewing out Usagi and Minako for tardiness. She didn't really want to give them opportunity for revenge.

"Well, where is that?" the dark haired girl asked, "Maybe I can meet you afterwards."

Makoto was dumbfounded. Then sighed, she'd been feeling the same way all day and it was really wearing thin, "What do you mean "where is that?"" she demanded, "You go there all the time to get charms!" she sighed, "Where did you get the idea that I give cooking lessons anyway?" she couldn't remember the girl's name and after what Ami and Usagi had been able to quickly relay to her during lunch and the subsequent argument with Naru, or Molly, that she'd witnessed over whether or not the "meatball head" was cheating on Mamoru with Darien or not...she figured the girl wouldn't claim the name even if she could remember what she thought it was. She was glad she'd taken Ami's advise and stayed out of the argument though. It was pretty ugly.

"Well, one of my friends overheard you telling Serena how you'd volunteered to give that handsome French exchange student lessons that one time so I was kinda hoping..."

Makoto drew several blanks and not for the first time that day, "Ser—and what French excha--? You know what? Never mind. I'm really, really late. I'll see you tomorrow if Rei and the others don't kill me for being more tardy than Usagi-chan..."

She started off not noticing the woman in the gray skirt and white, long-sleeved blouse who had appeared behind the dark-haired girl she'd been talking to.

"What time tomorrow, Lita?"

"Oh, for—it's Makoto! Kino Makoto! I told—oh, just forget it! Forget it!" she shouted as she sped off.

Deeque smiled, folding her arms across her chest. The master would definitely be pleased. Things were working just as they'd hoped, "Hello, Jupiter. Let's see where you're going."

* * *

"Mako-chan's late," Rei said, looking at her watch for the third time in a few minutes.

"Maybe she got held up explaining herself to someone who had confused her name," Usagi suggested, secretly feeling glad that she was on time for once, "We would have," she spoke for herself and Ami, "If Minako-chan hadn't come by."

Ami nodded, "Umino was most persistent," she went into her school bag for her computer to log the latest events. She was hoping that the computer would be able to give them some sample situations to explain what was going on so far it had far too many possibilities for them to work through before they were discovered.

"You mean Melvin, don't you?" Minako teased, retying the large red ribbon that was in her hair, "What did he call us? Alien pod people?"

Ami nodded as the computer booted itself up, "We're going to have to start playing along with them, though, otherwise it's going to be no time at all before we're discovered by whoever's causing this before we get chance to find them."

"But I don't want to be Serena," Usagi whined, pulling her left ponytail away from Artemis' clutches, "It's an awful name. I'm not ready to be Serenity yet. That's far too close!"

"You're right. It is close to Serenity," Rei said, "That's just what I was thinking. It's like they're _trying _to flush us out. As though they think they know who we are but they're not quite there."

"Mina is very close to Minako," the other blonde said, "and Rei is Rei."

"It's almost as though we're being simplified in some way..." Ami put in.

"About that," Rei said, reaching into her pocket to pull out a piece of evidence, "it's not as close as we think on my part. Chad sent me a love note and he addressed it to R-A-Y-E."

"Spelled it?" the others said.

"Yes," Rei said, "As in English, no kanji," she sighed, "I had to get out a dictionary to read what we wrote me."

"So, why have we being understanding everyone when they talk?" Usagi asked, peering at the note that Rei had placed on the table, clearly straining herself.

"Have we been teleported to some other country?" Minako asked.

"Geographically this is still Tokyo," Ami said, without looking up, "and chronologically this is still the late-twentieth century."

"A simple no would have worked for me," Minako answered.

"And me," Usagi added.

"Sorry," Ami answered, "I think this is something which is radiating out from a given point, and getting worse the further it goes on. If this keeps up before long we might not be able to speak to them without speaking in English, given that's what Chad wrote his note in."

Rei stood up and walked towards the doorway of the shrine. She stared out towards Hikawa down town for a while, "It almost looks mirrored," she mused, "Where _is _Mako-chan?"

"Mirrored?" Ami walked over to join Rei carrying her computer to analyze the view. She didn't get very far as Makoto burst over the top of the shrine's stair case running at high speed. Her apology began as she hit the last step up towards the shrine and caught sight of Ami and Rei looking out at her, and it continued as she ran across the patio and into the shrine itself.

"It's okay," both Rei and Usagi said simultaneously.

"Yeah, it's not like you got sidetracked by a boy or something," Minako put in.

"Look whose talking," Makoto retorted.

"We were more worried than anything," Ami said, "In case whatever's doing this had surfaced."

Makoto snapped to attention at that, "Are there any more clues?"

The senshi arranged themselves around the shrine's back room's table after Rei had double checked that the two males of the shrine were still away in town.

"So, let me get this straight," the young priestess said, spreading her hands on the table and looking to Makoto first, and then the others, "They were calling you Leeta?"

"Apparently," Makoto said, "I guess it's because of what Ami-chan and Usagi-chan were saying this morning...the girl who was wanting cooking lessons was most insistent no matter how many times I told her that my name was Makoto."

Luna jumped up onto the table and took a position where she could see all of the girls after a few moments Artemis joined her climbing slowly out of Minako's lap given she was still absently scratching his ears.

"Whatever it is seems to have started this morning," the black cat said, "and as far as you can tell Ami-chan it's just localized to the city?"

Ami turned the computer around so that the others could see what was on the screen. It was making a list of comparisons and seemed to still be doing some calculations. It stopped the clicking and then beeped as it flashed up some kind of response. Ami turned it around so that she could read it and was unable to help herself and started giggling. After a few moments she put her hand over her mouth and apologized.

"What's the matter?" the others demanded.

She blushed and apologized again, "It's saying that there's an eighty-eight per cent probability that we are succumbing to what it's calling "translation". That is an entity outside our current perception is trying to make Tokyo and us conform to their ideal."

"Why would anyone do that?" Minako complained.

Before Ami, or anyone else could suggest something, there was a strange crunching sound outside like wood splintering, and then another sound like someone falling from a great height onto a stone floor. Then there was muffled yelling, which distracted them enough that they whent outside to see what exactly was going on.


	4. Part 3

There was a young woman stomping angrily around the patio in front of the shrine. She was wearing a pin-striped gray skirt and a long-sleeved white blouse, that had apparently been neatly pressed until a few moments ago. There were not just wisps of brown hair escaping from her bun but clumps. It looked as though a two year old had put her hair up for her.

A broken tree limb was on the ground nearby and as she was stomping around and muttering under her breath she was also pulling leaves and twigs from her clothing and hair and throwing them on to the ground. It was clear that the she must have been in the tree trying to climb up on to the shrine's roof when the branch gave way beneath her.

Rei's eyes glazed over for a moment as she watched the woman's progress. This development was something that the other girl's were quite familiar with and meant that the priestess would hopefully be giving them some insight about the woman in a moment, "Something's wrong," she murmured as their eyes couldn't help but follow her irate but still elegant path across the stones.

"She looks like a...stereotypical librarian," Ami remarked, gaining a few confused looks from the other senshi, save Rei who remained transfixed by the intruder. It didn't seem to occur to any of them to ask her if she was okay or what she was doing there.

"What do you mean, Ami-chan?" Minako asked.

"Speaking from intrigue," Ami explained, blushing a little about what she had said and what she was about to say, "Most people who you would expect to find spying on us—they're usually more scantily clad."

"You're saying she's an enemy?" Usagi asked as Luna and Artemis jumped up into the shrine window trying to attract their attention and get them to transform.

"No," Rei said, as her focus came more towards the woman herself than her aura, "I am."

"Quickly! Quickly! Transform!" Luna said in the lull caused by Rei's statement.

She was followed by their guest who realized that she had been marked, "Ah, the sailors," the woman said.

Usagi paused her hand part way towards the golden brooch on the center of her chest, "Who? What?"

Luna and Artemis exchanged glances themselves. That was definitely a new term.

"I know exactly who you all are," the woman went on, turning to them and putting her hands on her hips primly, "The spell was designed perfectly."

"Just transform!" Luna continued desperately.

"Quickly!" Artemis shouted.

Thankfully before either cat had to repeat themselves another time the senshi collected their wits and called on the power of their respective planets through their wands and brooch to make the transformation to their soldier selves. They barely heard the intruder gasp in horror, but found that when their powers had ebbed and they were able to once more see their surroundings. They found that she was cowering back with her hands over her eyes making small whimpering noises.

"Um..." Sailor Moon stepped towards her, clearly as confused as the others, "Oba-san, is everything alright?"

"Is it over?" the woman muttered, hopefully.

"Is what over, Oba-san?"

"Agh!" came the reply, as she found Sailor Moon's face peering up into her own as she finally brought her hands away from her eyes, "Oh, good," she relented.

Moon looked back to the other senshi with several questions playing across her face. Mars and Jupiter shrugged, but they weren't the only ones who had no idea what the problem was.

"Is what over, Oba-san?"

"Well," the woman said, smoothing her hands down her skirt once again, "Forgive me, I've been rude and haven't properly introduced myself."

"O-kay..." Moon said, "One moment please," she backed up towards where Mars was standing and leaned over to the fire senshi, "I thought you said she was the enemy. So far she doesn't seem evil, just nosy and...um...well...a prude. Is your intuition having a bad day?"

"I don't think so," Mars answered.

"Think?" Moon asked, "Where's that angry Mars? How dare you doubt me, Usagi-chan? You have no idea..."

"Don't start," Jupiter warned.

"A-hem," the woman coughed, "My name is Deeque, and I'm here to save you from yourselves."

"Excuse me?" Venus said, "You want to what?"

Deeque pulled herself up to her full height. She was actually a couple of inches taller than Jupiter, "I want to save you. Your actions and interactions will lead to your social downfall. You lack morals and breeding. You need to be less risqué."

"What?" Moon asked.  
Jupiter folded her arms, "I think she's saying we're beneath her?" she looked to Mercury.

"I don't think we're any more risque than the average person..." Mercury replied, although her cheeks were turning a bright pink as she glanced around at her companions.

"Right, you're acting like we're all perverts or something!" Venus said.

"Leave Grandpa out of this," Mars muttered.

Deeque was the one to blush now, "Good young ladies should have _clean _mouths!" she shook her head, "You shouldn't use such awful, awful, language. If you cannot be saved. I will have to do away with you..." she swallowed and drew herself up to her full height again, "...for your own good."

"I don't like the sound of that," Jupiter muttered.

Deeque reached into the pocket of her skirt and turned back to face them with a large wand in her hand. The shape made it look almost like a lower case letter "I" but the dot on the top kept fluxing between a star and a dot, "My master kitted me out for just such a circumstance," she said proudly, "I will punish you!"

"That's my line!" Moon complained, "How dare you steal it! You're completely un-original. You're—you're like a cheap copy and badly dressed at that!"

"Sailor Moon!" Mars hissed.

"Sailor Dub Attack!" Deeque shouted, sending sparkling purple ribbon out from her wand. The senshi found that it was easy to dodge as they jumped up onto the shrine roof out of the way, "Stay in one place so I can get you!"

"You can't 'get' any of us if you can't see where we are," Mercury replied, and drew her arms up above her shoulders and over her head, "Shabon Spray!" she said moving her arms out to put her body in the shape of a cross, fog rolled across the scene from all around her.

"Dub Defend!" Deeque retorted, waving the wand around in front of her like a fan. The fog began to dissipate as she walked forwards.

Venus stepped forward, "Venus, Crescent-a beam!" The golden arc of light split the ribbon in half as it pushed towards them for a second attack.

"What's going on?" Mars murmured as her 'Fire Soul!' met with similar treatment.

"How come one works and one doesn't?" Jupiter asked.

"Just keep at her with yours, Minako-chan," Mercury instructed analyzing the scene through her visor, "We need to get the wand away from her. Fight her physically if we have to,"

Jupiter and the others nodded firmly, and the lightning senshi leaped down from the roof and launched a kick towards Deeque.

"Then it's my turn!" Moon said, firmly.

"Venus, Crescent-a beam! Venus Love Chain!" the second time she used the chain attack she was able to hook the wand and swung it towards Jupiter who caught it then smashed it with great prejudice against the shrine's wall.

"Now, Sailor Moon!" Luna shouted.

"Moon Princess Halation!"

Deeque began to fold in on herself, shrinking down and down, "I'm not the only one!" she threatened as she disappeared leaving only a case of videos and a doll in her wake.

The senshi crowded around the videos and Venus bent down to pick up the doll as their uniforms faded around them to be replaced by their ordinary day-to-day clothes. Usagi picked up the video box and studied it, "It's in weird alien language," she said.

"That's English," Ami remarked from over her should, she pulled one out and between herself and Minako they got the writing translated, "Is new girl Amy an agent for the Negaverse? Serena and her cat companion must unlock the mystery at the computer school."

"The people on the box do look a bit like us," Makoto said as the a phone rang inside the shrine and Rei ran to answer it, "I think we need to find out where she got her whacked out ideas from..."

"I don't think so," Usagi said, putting the box down again and knocking the doll out of Minako's hands, "What if they can track us down with these things, we should get rid of them..."

"They do seem creepy," Ami said, "But the Deeque lady said that she wasn't the only one..."

"I agree," Luna said, "We need to find out all that we can..."

There was a rumbling by their feet and they jumped out of the way just in time as the videos and doll were swallowed up by a black hole which thankfully closed as soon as it's task was complete and the evidence was gone.

"Usagi-chan!" Rei called from the doorway of the shrine's back room, "Naru-chan is on the phone. She was wondering if you're still going over there tonight?"

"Did you say Naru-chan?" Usagi asked, her eyes bright.

"Yes," Rei replied, "So, it looks as though things are back to normal..."

* * *

A shadowy hand set a small doll down on top of a video case and began to chant, as he did so the two merged together and grew, taller and taller until they were the size of a normal person. The figure looked as though she could have been Deeque's sister, with blond hair in a French knot on top of her head and thin silver glasses. She straightened the lapels on her blouse and brushed the folds out of her skirt.

"You need me, Master?" she asked.

"Yes, Clover...I have a most important task for you..."


End file.
